The Ignorance of Others

Yesterday was meant to be a wonderful day. I had volunteered to be a chaperone for my daughter's 4th grade class on their field trip to the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. Having chaperoned 2 previous trips for my daughter over the course of the last couple of years I knew what was expected of me and I always try to enhance the experience of the children in my group. My daughter seems to love it when I go with her and her classmates because I try to make it a very entertaining experience, wherever we are going.

As much fun as we were having throughout the day, there were multiple incidents with various other museum goers that just utterly drove me crazy. The "incidents" that I am talking about would be the multiple counts of ignorance and outright bullying that I witnessed over and over again. Having gone to a ton of public places throughout my life I am very familiar with such actions and come to expect a certain amount of it. As a matter of fact, I am always mentally prepared to deal with things like this no matter where I am because, well to put it bluntly, it just happens. You cannot avoid running into someone who has absolutely no regard for other people. That is, in the case of adults. However, what about experiencing this in children?

Who and Why? Is it their upbringing?

Certain people are just rude. It doesn't matter where you are or what you are doing you will eventually experience the rudeness of others. We have all seen it, someone cutting in front of someone else in line. A person just bogarting their way in front of another person while they are reading a plaque on the wall. There are a variety of ways that people can be rude to their fellow man, or woman. There might even be times in which you or I have been the one committing the rude act.

What about children however? Sure, there is a certain amount of rudeness that comes from kids of various age groups. But in most cases I think we see or recognize that most children might be acting in such a manner simply because they don't know any better. Maybe they are being rude because they don't know that they are affecting those around them. Or maybe, they are acting this way because it is just how they act at home or it is how they were raised to be. I know for a fact that there are certain people that have told their kids, "do what you want to do and don't worry about other people. You get what you want, what you need, no matter how it bothers the people around you."

How do I "know this for a fact"? Well, because I have talked to people over the years and this is what a couple parents have told me that they teach their children. I even had a friend once who raised his kids with a similar mantra. "Surely" he told me, "in a world as cruel and as harsh as this one, we should teach our children to be as aggressive as the person next to them, as the person they are in competition with." To a certain degree I can understand where he was coming from but at the same time there has to be a degree of compassion for other people.

So where or how do we draw the line between caring for ones self and making sure you do not hurt or harm other people? That is hard to tell sometimes, especially where children are concerned. I have always taught my kids that they should always make sure they are safe and get what they want in life. However, you always want to be conscience of those around you. Are you taking something for yourself at anothers expense? If so, then you must reconsider your actions. 

Cultural Differences

I like to think that at the heart of every situation there is a commonality that exists that allows people to understand each other. At the same time, no matter how much people might want to ignore it, there is a distinct racial division amongst people within this country. I think we all need to reassess who we are and how we are different AND alike. We need to realize that no matter what our differences are in regards to appearance deep down we are all human. That fact and that fact alone is all that matters. So why is it that we have such divisions amongst one another when it comes to race? I don't think I will ever find the answer to that question.

That being said, I have lived on this planet for almost 40 years now and I have seen quite a lot. I have lived in very cultural diverse areas as well as places where things are so bland they strive to add diversity. So I feel I have the right to speak my mind when it comes to racial issues because I have lived through them just like anyone else has. There are people out there who will speak on issues they do not understand because they do not have direct experience. They are speaking their thoughts on issues they really have no right to talk about because everything they say is essentially a theory not a fact.

Yesterday at the museum what I witnessed was the same thing that I have seen before. For some reason however I was angered and frustrated much more yesterday than I have been in the past. Maybe it was because it was so blatant and maybe it was because my frustration level with it had reached a boiling point. I'm not sure, but what I do know is that I had to write about it to make myself feel somewhat better about it. Maybe writing this piece about the experience will give me the chance to vent my frustrations and at the same time hopefully enlighten others to it as well.

There were a large variety of rude and ignorant acts that I saw yesterday and about 98% of them were carried out by kids from the ages of about 9 to 13. These are definitely kids who are old enough to know better. The last 2% were adults who surely should know better. In one incident we were walking up to an old steam train to see what it looked like in the drivers compartment. I stood to the side of the stairway to allow my group of 4 kids to walk up and into the compartment. I wanted them to be able to see all of it without being in their way myself. Suddenly a group of Latino children walked up the stairs with their chaperone. They all (about 6 of them) rushed up the stairs and literally pushed my kids out of the way and stood directly in front of them. The adult with the group followed right behind the kids and pushed his way in as well. He even stretched and leaned over one of my kids blocked her view entirely so that he could see better. I immediately walked up as far as I could on the stairs and lead my kids back down and out of the exhibit. I figured it was best to just leave the area before more anger and frustration grew.

Another time we were watching a very large avalanche simulation machine describe and show how the grains and rocks in an avalanche move down a slope. There were controls at the base of the machine so the kids could control the machine and see how different environments and different materials effect the avalanche. We waited our turn behind a black kid who just seemed to not want to leave even though he obviously had no clue as to what he was doing. When he finally left I guided my daughter towards the controls and she grabbed them in hand. I explained to her what they did and how it worked so she could understand what she was doing. She operated the apparatus for about 1 minute when 3 black kids her age crowded around us. They got very close and started talking so loud that my daughter and I could not hear one another.

Then as they inched in closer and closer, one of them took his hand and while my daughter was still operating the machine he pushed her hand off of it and grabbed  the control. As he did this he started to try and wedge his way into where she was standing, until I intervened. I asked them to kindly move back and give us some room and explained that my daughter was till using the machine. I said when she was done they could have their turn and that everybody should get a turn. The one who grabbed the control from her seemed to get it, but one of the other kids actually said, "forget it cracker its my turn now!" Keep in mind that this kid was probably about 9 or 10 years old. I was more shocked that he would say something like that to an adult more than anything else at that point. I gently put my arms down on either side of my daughter where she was standing so they almost formed a wall around her allowing her to freely use the controls. By this point however she just wanted to leave the area. I don't know if she was just upset or finished learning about avalanches but either way I was very upset.

Needless to say we left the area about 5 minutes later and continued on through the museum. The interactions and confrontations did not end there however. Not only did we run into more ignorance and rudeness throughout the day but I also continued to see such acts against other people as well. For example, at one point we were by a large scale model of the city of Chicago that has a few model trains going around the large model city. There was an Indian family looking at the exhibit and preparing to take a family photo standing in front of it. As they lined up for the picture there were a couple adults (not with their group) who were obviously standing back so as to not interfere with the picture.  However, there were multiple black kids who were deliberately walking in between the picture taker and the rest of the family completely not caring what was going on around them. The family taking the picture had to reset multiple times and finally moved to a new spot, unable to take the picture where they wanted to. It was almost sickening.

Salvaging the Field Trip

Although the experiences I had just described made it difficult to really enjoy ourselves we did end up having a good time. It is hard not to when you are chaperoning a field trip with your child and their friends. The Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago is a great place and they have a bunch of fun and educational exhibits. I think my daughter really enjoyed the day and that was all I could ask for.

As far as the people who exhibited a complete disregard for their fellow human beings goes I fee sad for them. I think as they continue to grow up they will either realize their actions define them or they will not. For those who realize this truth they will hopefully do what they can to become a person who is not only good to themselves but to others as well. Those who do not see this will likely live a life filled with agony and despair. I know, that might be a bit of a stretch but there is a whole section of our society who feels that it is pointless to get along with other cultures and that they are doing their culture a favor by alienating it from that of other people.

I know from experience that nothing good ever comes out of putting yourself in a corner and ignoring both the people and the environment around you. We should always embrace the cultures of others as a way to learn more about them. If we could all see one another as a fellow human being and not as the color or culture they portray on the outside we might have a chance to get along and learn something. The ability to learn and adapt is one of the major things that separates us from that of the animal kingdom. Why would we want to ignore what other people can teach us only to remain stationary in society? I think the more we learn from each other the closer we can get to having a true understanding of the world we live in.